actually, it’s about ethics in games

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This was a half-hour freewrite concerning the seemingly leaderless movement affecting women in games negatively today. I was outside waiting for a friend for drinks, needing to let some frustrating feelings out, and I just so happened to be reading some tweets about The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air at the time. Thus, the freewrite is a different take on that theme, which you can check out here.

After some observation, I don’t believe this movement is solely about ethics in games. There’s a wealth of pain supporting the idea of this being a way to shut women up, and I cannot get behind that.

I wish people didn’t feel these harmful comments and exposures of one’s personal life necessary, if their main goal is to force journalists, developers &c to operate with a bit more integrity. Fear tactics are being employed.

As usual, respect to those who feel the need to leave the games environment for their own safety / well-being. Respect to those who stay, even in the face of abuse.

 

this is a story
developing now;
games culture went
pearshaped somehow

I’d like to take a minute
to reflect on that;
how criticism puts
you in danger in zero time flat

in southern California
with guys and dames
PlayStation is where I played
most of my games

chillin’ out, maxin’,
relaxin’ all cool,
playin’ Parappa badly;
can’t pass driving school

years later there were guys
who were up to no good
starting with misogyny
and bein’ rude

I got just one little dox
as would be my fate
for criticizing video games
and opposing GamerGate

I called on some support
and when it came near
the women, they got doxxed
creating a culture of fear

if anything I could say
it’s sad times for dames
but they say, ‘nah, forget it;
it’s about ethics in games!’

we go on months like this
and I’m gettin’ irate
at the Anita hate
I yell, ‘leave, GamerGater!’

I looked at my kingdom,
looked at Vivian James,
how quickly I forgot
it’s about ethics in games

 

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Silly SJWs, right?

the end of games

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I wrote this with the past few weeks in games culture where women are concerned in mind. I suppose thinking about the last couple of days attending [convention name omitted], the culture and events surrounding it, and 4 hours of sleep likely helped this become a thing.

Respect to those who feel the need to leave the games environment for their own safety / well-being. Respect to those who stay, even in the face of abuse.

 

women in games,
y’know they have it rough
loving their work
seems never enough

you’ve got to get up, stand up
for their right to exist
making impact with your words
as your fist

knowing full well standing up may be
risking losing some credibility

but what is worth more in this industry
bonus points, or visibility?

we’ve got talent up to our nose
and as we highlight,
our community grows

if we can’t stand
being critical here
perhaps the end
is actually near

 

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From Portlandia. (Not my favourite show, but some lines ring true.)

the power of obligation

Last month, I was contacted by three people I would rather not have engaged with, but I did so anyway. Why?

 

An obligation, I suppose you could say. All three of these people were folks I’d had a habit of chatting with quite frequently and excitedly at some point in the past. At a later date, all three made me feel not OK in major ways for reasons that I’ll refrain from getting into detail here.

Somehow, I felt that I would or could make things worse by not saying anything in response to their contact, in case they didn’t understand why I didn’t want to be contacted (even though I communicated to each of them what was amiss). Our past interactions inspired me to respond, too.

 

 

There’s a sense of finality in breaking ties with people, whether it’s speaking to them less, or going your own way, online, offline or both. It can make things uncomfortable if you have friends in common, and/or frequent similar social circles. It can cast a shadow over anyone’s day.

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Not breaking ties is tempting. It’s an ‘engage anyway’ button that a good chunk of folks tend to push perhaps without fully realising it, and it almost always comes at a cost to the one pushing it.

 

 

When folks do something wrong, there can be an assumption in play that we should just carry on as though nothing has happened, and move on. That it’s not worth the bother. I’m trying fiercely to break this habit, at least in the sense that I don’t speak up when something’s not quite right.

Part of moving on for me involves dealing with the thing, if it’s within my ability to. At the very least, I want those around me to acknowledge they’re aware of it. I would want to know if I mucked something up so I could fix it, if possible. (I am very aware not everyone shares this feeling.)

At best, the problem lies within a simple miscommunication that can be smoothed out if and when all parties involved are receptive to talking about it. At worst, one side shuts down when such news is being relayed, which usually leads to resentment, questioning safety, and other negatives.

 

 

Practice does not necessarily make perfect, but it should make better in a number of cases.

It’s rough finding ways to let people know you’re not OK, especially if you’re seen by others as a person who is relatively strong of will and/or are used to going a lot of things alone. Keep this in mind: even strong people can break when you think that they’re merely bending.

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August ’07, Indianapolis

Please consider being receptive to constructive criticism, even if it’s just to allow the person giving the criticism space, and to give you space to mull the information over awhile. Even if they’re parting words, and even if it hurts. Within that hurt is the opportunity to learn. We’re works in progress, and it’d be foolhardy to assume we’ve got it all figured out.

Please also tell yourself – maybe more than once – that it’s alright to disengage when you feel it necessary, nostalgia be damned. Holding onto memories of the good times serves little purpose if it’s being invoked during repeats of harmful behaviour, whether said behaviour is intended or not.

 

One obligation we have and often forget is the obligation to ourselves, to our hearts and to our well-being. Those obligations are simply not possible to fulfill if we keep offensive actions in our lives.

Part III in a personal blog series about interactions on the internet.

Part II: https://kungfulasers.com/2014/04/03/possession/